According to InfoPlease, the United States is the world’s third largest producer of oil.  Whoa.  Really?  We drill and tap into that much oil?  Who knew?  So what’s the problem?

Patience.  Patience.  Seem’s we have a champagne appetite for oil and a beer budget.  We are the world’s largest consumer of oil.  But here’s why that’s not just a bad report card, but a recipe for chaos.  We consume more oil than #2-6 combined!  We also consume more than twice what we make.

Now how many of you would recommend that pattern to your children?  Then why do we do it?  (And don’t tell me ‘Do what I say, not what I do’ - that doesn’t work for our generation.

So, deeper into the problem we go.  Where do we go when we overspend our oil allowance?  Savings you say…ah…no.  Also according to InfoPlease, the United States is #11 on the world oil savings list and apparently, our savings would only last us 150 years at our current deficit.  So, instead we go straight to #1 to ‘borrow/buy’ - and that leads us to Saudi Arabia.

How do we fix this then?  What do I know? But here’s a few thoughts.

1. Oh Canada!  The world’s #2 saver of oil and they are on a surplus run, making more than they use and have nearly what Saudi Arabia has.  Personally, I think they are working up a run to overtake the world and force us all to watch hockey except they will call it futball thinking we won’t know the difference.  Let’s say to Canada, you supplant Saudi Arabia as our top supplier, we’ll send you our new corn cars and some corn fuel, we’ll give your MLB baseball team back, return you to the glory days of Stanley Cups and toss in the NFL franchise that was going to Los Angeles in the next 10 years and we’ll call it all even.  Eh?
2. We start turning back shipments of oil from Saudi Arabia stating ‘sorry, we’re full’ and we tie ourselves a 150-year knot.  Now, the trick here before we hang ourselves in the next 150 years and dry up the tanks, is to find a way to replace our dependency on our own oil.  Come on, more technological advancements have happened in the past 100 years than the entire history of man and who lead that period of history?  Us - as in U.S.  We can do it - all night long! (That’s much funnier if you’ve seen The Waterboy.)  And along the way, the Saudi Arabian economy deflates, they lose their rein of control on the world and - whoa, watch out, they start playing nicely.  Instead of beheadings and hijackings, they say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.  I suppose we could also start saying these things in the world - you know, a little good will.
3. Well, I can’t think of a third solution.  I guess we could stop fooling ourselves and admit that we are childish, selfish and disconcerned with the consequences of tomorrow’s oil problems - yes, admit that we are Saudi Arabia’s puppet.  Slap a veil on us and call us happy.

Ask yourself this: why does the world invest so heavily back into the United States?  Because they know we are NOT paying attention and we send it back to them with profit and a smile.  And somehow, arrogance allows us to think that this will go on forever.  Is the rest of the world laughing as they pull our strings and watch us flaunt our so-called independence and power?  I think so.

So let’s cut the strings, create a win-win with Canada and what’s the worst that could happen?  We end up fighting them on horseback for control of the borders.  That would be the cheapest war we’ve fought in decades.  Let’s just make sure we have our priorities straight and keep Bill Gates safe up in Seattle and the Green Bay Packers, well, they’re on their own this year.  Sorry, Brett.